


Homecoming

by hermioneclone



Category: Glee
Genre: F/M, Gen, Post Finn's Death, alternate glee ending, hence the warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2014-12-01
Packaged: 2018-02-27 15:49:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2698541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hermioneclone/pseuds/hermioneclone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After leaving the New Directions once again for New York, Rachel rediscovers the meaning of home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Homecoming

**Author's Note:**

> Once we got the word on an end date for Glee, people started speculating on how the series would end. I couldn't stop thinking about how we've been told it was supposed to end, and this was the result.

Rachel clicked the lock to the apartment open quietly, pushing open the door and walked inside, dragging her bright pink suitcase behind her. Sheets cast ghostly outlines across their furniture, packed up nice and neat while everyone reconvened in Lima for a while. It was weird to be back; she had counted so much on L.A. working out, she was going to hit the big time. But she didn’t. She was taking a step backwards, a foreign concept when failure had never been an option. At least New York was only one compared to Lima which felt like a million miles of regression. Her childhood room felt claustrophobic, dreams plastered on the walls in optimistic tones that made her present self cringe at how much they had let her down. At how much she had let herself down.

Despite being surrounded by all of her friends and the typical drama McKinley had to offer, Rachel was lonely. New York was hers. Sure she shared it with Kurt, Blaine, Santana, Artie and about 8 million other people, but it was where she made her mark, where she stared in a Broadway show! _And tossed it away because you were bored, really Berry?_ But Ohio, Lima, McKinley…that had been her space with Finn. Even before he knew or cared who she was, even before she let herself feel her emotions as something that could help her grow rather than stand in her way, Finn had been there. Hell, he still was. Sometimes, his absence loomed larger than he did.

It was nice being back in New York, surrounded by hoards of other lonely people. Still, her life, like the city surrounding her, was forever in flux. She really needed to start packing; Kurt and Blaine would be back from their honeymoon eventually and she really wanted to at least have her own place by then. It was still up in the air if her friends were keeping the loft or trying to find a new place to start their married life together, but considering how much weddings and living in the city costs, she figured they would stay put. It would be easier, better, if she were the one to leave.

But that would all come in time. Now she was tired, clammy with the grime of travel. She quickly set up her bed area, putting on fresh sheets that hadn’t been draped over furniture before jumping into the bathroom for a quick shower, letting her eyes slide shut as the warm water made its way down her head. Sighing contently, she eventually finished, shivering as she reached for her towel. Once dressed in her fluffiest pajamas, Rachel made her way to the bare kitchen, thankful that she had hidden in her luggage a few packets of the cheap hot chocolate stuff that Kurt would disown her for using (not to mention that she had no milk to make it with and was resorting to using the microwave). She needed that familiar warmth to fill her up from the inside, lack of supplies be damned.

She toyed with the charm that forever hung around her neck. Her fingers traced the letters carefully, with a kind of reverence that had become routine. Finn. She knew, deep down, that this was the root her loneliness, her dissatisfaction. She knew that this hole would probably always be there. She had considered talking with Kurt’s dad about it when she was in Ohio; he’d obviously gone through something similar before he married Carole. But it just felt too intrusive somehow; Finn wasn’t just some guy she loved. He was Burt’s step-son. Or maybe she just couldn’t bring herself to come up with the words to ask how the hell do you move on from this. Someday, she hoped.

She really didn’t want to move on. She just wanted the past two years to have been a dream, a horrible nightmare that would dissolve as she blinked into wakefulness, nuzzling against Finn’s chest as she lay in his arms.

The microwave blared angrily, startling her out of the fantasy. It was for the best; such line of thought was only going to lead to more heartbreak. Instead, she focused on mixing her drink, watching the dusty powder disappear into the muddy water. Grabbing a blanket off her bed, Rachel dragged Kurt’s chair over to the window, wrapping herself into a tight cocoon as she sipped her hot chocolate and gazed out at the twinkling lights that were the city she loved so much.

Rachel sat there for hours, her drink long finished and forgotten as she stared out into space, wishing on the lights of windows as if they were stars. Her hand automatically drifted to her necklace, and for the briefest moment she could have sworn that she felt a presence, something, behind her, holding her steady. It was gone before she could process it, probably just her mind playing tricks on her. Still, she couldn’t help but smile. She was back in her city, her life was turned upside down, and she had to practically start from scratch. But Rachel didn’t care, in that moment she was filled with a sense of _right_ that was overwhelming, stronger than anything she had felt since before…

“I’m home,” Rachel whispered, her voice sounding small in the empty room that would soon no longer be hers, but it didn’t matter. She was where she belonged. And she was not about to give up.


End file.
